Dreaming and drinking

26/04/24

Every so often I have vivid dreams about beautiful, serene places and landscapes. I don't often remember my dreams but these ones I do in detail. I would like to share with you one I enjoyed recently.

I went on a trip with my close family to the tiny Arctic island South Touié, which is north of far East Russia. Despite its latitude it has a moderate climate. There is no North Touié, but there is a nearby island called Drinden. Sometimes the days and nights progress so rapidly there that you can watch the sun and moon rise and fall from east to west in about a minute each. At other times of the year the island experiences months-long days and nights. It doesn't matter when you visit, it is always worth seeing. The island has no permanent human inhabitants, so it has become a wildlife sanctuary, and the animals have not learned to be afraid of humans. I had contact with many types of goldfinches, large grouse and female mallard ducks. I was lucky enough to visit during the transition from rapid days to lethargic ones, so I went down to the beach and watched the sunset linger over the sea for hours, in the company of some small twittering birds that I couldn't identify.

In other news, I'm moving out of my parents house in less than a month. I've never lived on my own before but I'm not nervous. I think I'll miss my family a lot, the city I'm moving to is a few hours away so I won't be able to visit but I reckon my mum will probably travel to see me at least once. I'm only going to stay there for two months anyway. I was awarded a very exciting studentship (which I'll probably write more about after exams) and I'm extremely fortunate that they are covering the costs of my accommodation on top of the wage I will receive for my work there so I'll have total financial freedom during my time away- as much fancy coffee and Turkish food as I want!! I'm still awed and humbled that I was offered this opportunity, it's very competitive and I honestly don't really know why I was chosen but I hope I will be able to prove myself a worthy budding scientist.

I've heard that academics and researchers can be very competitive and cutthroat, and I'm already experiencing this at uni. Some of my friends are pretty bitter that I got the scholarship and have been lashing out at me but it's ridiculous because they didn't even apply! I hope that everyone in my lab will be nice (I mean I'm an undergrad who will only be there for a few weeks so I'm hardly "competition") and I hope that the other scholarship students, having also won the scholarship, will not be mentalists and try to sabotage each other or anything. I'd love to make friends there but I won't get my hopes up. I am really bad at making friends because I am kind of socially stunted and also while I don't want to sound like I'm victimising myself I seem to have a very bullyable aura. People are constantly cruel to me. I suspect that because I was bullied a lot as a child that in some way I can't perceive I scream "PUSHOVER" to sadists and bullies. I do have some friends so I know I'm not completely unlikeable. Sorry this has gotten away from me. I just hope everyone can get along.

Three things I am looking forward to the most: cooking, gym access, and naturally, delving headfirst into the project itself. I know that my cooking facilities will be limited because it's a student flat I'm sharing with many other people but hopefully I can try out new recipes that I'm not able to do at home. I've never used a gym before but I guess this would be as good a time to start as ever! I don't live anywhere near a gym at home and I can't drive so it will be fun to try, though if I do manage to get into the habit I don't know if I will be able to keep it up when I get home. Doesn't matter I guess. And of course I wouldn't have applied to a science scholarship if I wasn't looking forward to the science! I don't have all the details for my project yet but it doesn't matter, my personal philosophy for passion ensures that I will enjoy it regardless. And anyway even with the little information I do have about it so far I can pretty confidently deduce that it'll be sick as fuck. I'm being vague because I don't know yet if it'll be identifiable.

Tonight I drank a White Claw for the first time in my life. Everyone told me they were disgusting but honestly I quite liked it. I don’t drink very often but I’d have it again.